The family that plays together, stays together

This weekend my family came down from Washington and watched our last day of SPAC! It was absolutely incredible getting to spent a few precious hours with them. I think that's the hardest part of being married: planting your own roots and not getting to go home often. I hadn't really seen them since Thanksgiving and it's very likely I won't be going home until Christmas - though I'm going to pull any strings I can and get there for Garrett's farewell in August.

The minute I spotted my family walking into our first school, I just broke down and bawled. I couldn't even talk as I squeezed everyone tightly - I'm sure my brothers were thinking, "Please...she's just like mom!" I couldn't believe how much the boys have all grown up! It was even more fun dancing with our whole family in the audience. I often get teary eyed when I'm dancing with Garrett because I never want the moments we have to end. But I found myself getting even more teary eyed watching Garrett ham everything up and glancing over at my brothers who were laughing. I know they've all missed their big brother.

Saturday I sadly had an all day rehearsal in South Jordan for Clog America, but luckily we got out a little early and Eric dropped me off at the mall so I could join the mission shopping party. It was really cute watching how excited my dad got as they walked around picking out shoes, jackets, and suits. My mom and I just sat there smiling and talking about how weird it is that Garrett is growing up. Sometimes I wish we could just go back to being little.

Though my family headed back to my cousin's in Bountiful a few hours later, it felt so good to see them and spend time with them. I miss them everyday. When it came time to say goodbyes, I broke down again. You think it would get easier, but it only gets harder. Later that night when Eric got home from work he was also really sad that he hadn't gotten anytime to be with my brothers. We decided to go get comfort food to cheer us up, but then decided against it since it was almost midnight and we're trying to be healthy. Instead, we just cried in each others arms for a good hour. I feel very fortunate to have supporting parents who are willing to drive 11 hours one way to see me dance. They are such good examples of support and sacrifice. Eric and I are truly blessed to have the families that we do. We tell each other all the time, no one could be luckier.

Smiles and Tears

Tour has been rewarding for the mere fact that I get to be with my little brother all.day.long. It isn't that we're joined at the hip, but I love getting to watch him and observe all the good things he is constantly doing for other people. I've got a pretty awesome brother. After our last show Friday we were all pretty tired. I'll admit, I was grumpy, and ready to go home. A class of kids came in the gym and started what looked like a dance or P.E. class. Before I knew it, Garrett had run over and joined the kids. He caught on pretty quickly to the choreography, and then really started getting groovy. I started filming and laughing along with the rest of our team who were cheering him on. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. I know, I'm related to my mother. Only two more weeks with him and then he's headed home for the Summer. We'll never really be again for a very long time. I cry every time I think about it. We've been buddies and partners in crime for as long as I can remember. Though I get frustrated at times on tour or wonder why I did it again, all it takes is me looking at Garrett to know why I was supposed to do SPAC again. The time we've had together is priceless and what a neat opportunity we've had to learn and grow together. Nineteen years, and soon he will be off to Peru! I sure will miss him,but until then I will be here in Provo soaking up any minute I can to be with him.

Friday night our SPAC team got to volunteer at an elementary school "Extravaganza"! We all worked at different booths - I bounced between the prize and dart throwing booths. It was really fun to see all the different personalities of the kids and cheer them on as they did different activities. But my favorite thing was watching the kids who's parents had come with them and would help them and cheer them on, no matter how good or bad they were at what they were doing. All the sudden I got really excited to be a mother someday. I cannot wait to be the parent there all the time, cheering them on. I'm also very grateful for the parents I have. All throughout my life, they've been there, picking me up when I fall and cheering me on to the finish line. I'm incredibly blessed to be me.

Love Those Around You

The past few days have been pretty productive! Today I took the GRE, ran 6 miles with Eric, cleaned my whole house, cooked a delicious dinner, and ran a lot of over-due errands! He gets off work in a few hours and then we're going to celebrate Cinco De Mayo! I'm so proud of my man...he's worked over 60 hours this week! We hardly ever see each other except when we're both home around 10 or 11 pm and go on our nightly runs and tell each other about our day. We look forward to our runs all day long and love the time together. I'm training to run a half marathon in June up in Salt Lake, and then after that, hopefully a marathon! All I need to do is talk Eric into joining me...

This week I've been doing a lot of observing and pondering about the concept of showing those around you how much you love them. Thursday when our team was on the road and heading up to Salt Lake for our first show, we got stuck in some major traffic on the freeway. As we approached an accident we all saw a man who had died from a motorcycle - which was now nothing but little shredded pieces scattered around the road - and saw the EMT'S trying to revive him with chest compressions. That image will probably never be forgotten, along with the gut-wrenching feelings that accompanied it. I realized that you never know when the last time is that you're going to see someone. They can be taken in an instant. Never pass an opportunity to express your appreciation and love to those close to you. And NEVER pass up any time you can have with them...even if it means running together at 11 pm.

Like A Child

Our SPAC (Spring Performing Arts Company) started our Utah tour two weeks ago. For one month we will visit over 50 elementary schools, put on about 60 shows, and perform for over 20,000 kids. It has been such a treat getting to go meet and interact with the children. It is amazing how much they look up to us "BYU Dancers" and it is indescribable the feelings we experience watching their faces light up while we dance. Though we are not sharing our testimony through words, our dances and the message that we share with our show always leaves an imprint on their hearts.

Thousands of the children that we dance for come from abusive, single-parent, or just extremely broken homes.  It is heart-wrenching at times to see the children who harbor feelings of self-doubt and fear. Even though we only dance for them for 45 minutes, or get to have a 1 or 2 minute conversation with them, it is amazing the difference that we observe in them. One of my favorite things is after the show they just surround all us dancers and everyone wants a high-five. In the past two weeks I've given well over 300 high fives. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the thousands of children I've seen in the past two weeks. Each one is a child of God, and he knows each of them by name. The scriptures are full of references referring to the innocence and power that little children carry. I am so incredibly blessed to be an example to these children and to remind them of their individual worth and bring hope into their lives. Though all of us dancers are tired and worn-out from performing show after show, but we are filled with motivation and are constantly witnessing blessings and miracles throughout our long days. I know without a doubt that if Christ were here, he would be doing the same thing.

 This little boy was named Hayden. I found him before the show sitting in a small room by himself, hidden in a corner, and drawing. I knelt down next to him and began a conversation. He was very scared and shy at first. I asked if he was going to the assembly, but he told me he didn't do well in crowds and that he had some "social problems". He then proceeded to explain that he was drawing friends on his paper to talk to him while everyone else was at the assembly. I showed him an area where he could hide from everyone but look through the glass window and watch our assembly. Periodically throughout the show I saw him peeking through the window and I waved at him. Afterwards I went back to him and asked to take a picture with him. He absolutely lit up and even gave me a hug afterwards. Even a small and simple action like reaching out to a lonely child made my testimony grow and this sweet little boy taught me that though we at times may feel forgotten, we are never alone because God is always there for us.

 While waiting to "check-in" in one of the elementary school offices today, Delynne (our director) pointed out a small boy who was sitting in the office. He'd apparently gotten into a fight and was waiting to talk to the principle. Delynne explained that she'd been observing him and that earlier a few little girls came in the office and he stood up to offer his chair because there wasn't enough. I was so impressed by this little boy's respect and it made me wonder what kind of a home he came from. I grabbed Amber and we went and sat next to him. He kept his head down and didn't really want to talk to us - you could tell he was worried about getting in trouble from the principle. But I told him that we saw him give his seat to the little girl and how much it impressed us. Antonio started to smile, but it quickly went back to a stern and worried face. I continued talking to him in a very sweet and kind voice, and he eventually warmed up and wasn't so afraid of me. When the principle walked out of his office, he got a big grin when he saw us talking to Antonio. He cheerfully asked him, "Do you know who these beautiful girls are talking to you?" Antonio, head hung low, shook his head no. "These are the BYU dancers!" the principle said. The change in Antonio was priceless. His jaw dropped and he quickly looked at us. I saw a sparkle in his eye and I instantly knew that all this boy needed was to feel important.

As the boys began un-loading our costumes, I had a couple of them go in the office and meet Antonio. While dancing our first number, I spotted him in the middle of the crowd - it helped that he was wearing a lime green shirt. Then after the show, I climbed over a few hundred kids and asked him for a picture. All his friends were ooing and awwwing and asking him how I knew his name. All the sudden I saw him turn into the popular boy and he got a small grin across his face. I hope Antonio never forgets that he has friends like Amber and I, and that people are always watching and noticing when you do good things.

These cute kids screamed and screamed the entire show in excitement and it kept all of us dancers going. After talking to these kids after the show, they were just completely star-struck by all of our dances and colorful costumes. I asked them to take a picture and they acted like I was Justin Bieber. Priceless.

One by One

Today in Relief Society we had an incredible lesson on the power of temple work. We discussed how many people don't put aside time for temple attendance and ancestry because there are just so many names and the work never is never done. I started thinking about the power of one and how even if you only have time to do one baptism, or one name, that it still makes a complete difference for that one individual person. I came home and looked up some scriptures and started reflecting on Christ's ministry and how many times he took time to make a difference in one person's life.

"he touched with his hand the disciples whom he had chosen, one by one, even until he had touched them all..." -3 Nephi 18:36

"one of them spake unto me, calling me by name" - Joseph Smith History 1:17

"and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them" -3 Nephi 17:21

Too often I think we all find ourselves feeling unnoticed and invisible. Lately I have been so busy that I haven't really had time to myself and have begin to feel very overwhelmed and finding myself breaking down. I accidentally ate something I was allergic to on Sunday and it made me really sick. I spent four days feeling extremely dizzy, throwing up, fainting, and putting up with a lot of abdominal pain. But regardless of being sick, I still had hours of classes, work and homework to keep up on. Along with being sick, I've been preparing for eight final exams, working ten hours every day, trying to keep up on bills, juggling housework and laundry, functioning on 4-5 hours of sleep, and making time for a wonderful and loving husband. This lesson helped me to take a deep breath and reflect on President Uchtdorf's talk last year about the forget-me-not flowers.

"Sisters, there is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget-me-not flower. I hope it will be a symbol of the little things that make your lives joyful and sweet. Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy. Please never forget that the "why" of the gospel of Jesus Christ will inspire and uplift you. And never forget that your

Heavenly Father knows, loves, and cherishes you."

This lesson really reiterated how much every single one of us means to our Heavenly Father on an individual and personal basis. He know us by name. He is aware of our individual needs, struggles, strengths, and weaknesses. I've been thinking a lot about all the tender mercies that have taken place in my life this week. Here are just a few of them:

• Sunday as we were saying goodbye to Justin and Shellese, they surprised me with a bag of potato chips! As silly as this sounds, potato chips are one of the only snack foods I'm not allergic to! I'd been kind of sad because Eric and I opted against any Easter baskets because of $, so my potato chips were a simple Easter gift that really turned my day around. Justin is infamous for always sneaking potato chips into my stuff whenever we are leaving town. Thank you for always thinking of me and making me smile!
• Monday evening Bill and Sherry Baker (family friend's) took us out to dinner for fhe. We ate at an Indian place called Korinoor that is now my absolute favorite place to eat here in Provo! Though I had a ten page paper to finish and a review to attend, it was wonderful getting to set aside an hour and exchange some smiles and laughs. Not to mention that for the first time this semester I didn't have to make dinner!
• Friday night our dear friend, Mike Vogue, came by to give us hugs since he graduates and leaves BYU in a few days . He brought Eric bags of protein powder as a late birthday present since Eric has been his gym buddy this past semester. It sure made us sad to say goodbye and think about all the wonderful times we've had together. I'm getting sad to see so many of our friends graduate and move on. But I am grateful that our paths were able to cross for our short time here at BYU and that we've been able to impact each other's lives. Eric and I truly have hundreds of the most wonderful friends in the world!
• 

Another blessing happened last night after I had had a really long and tiring day of finals and work. I got home and found these sitting on my counter! You might laugh and think it silly, but it's really hard not being able to eat snack foods (especially while studying for finals) and I never buy myself junk food because I feel guilty spending the money. So, Eric had gotten me two of my favorite snacks to cheer me up! I'm so grateful for a wonderful husband and friends who are always full of smiles and hugs. Though they are usually very unaware of the moments they touch my life, I am constantly surrounded by loving friends who uplift and motivate me. I know that God is watching out for me. He never leaves me alone. And though I'm working hard and wearing myself out, he makes up for all my short comings. I am so grateful for the knowledge that God knows me individually and that he takes care of all his children, one by one.

Snow on Easter

We couldn't believe it when we woke up and saw this outside our window! The day before it had been hot and sunny, and now there was over 6 inches of snow! Thankfully, we made it safely to Spanish Fork and were able to spend some family time with Justin and Shellese (who came up from Las Vegas) and Grandma Gourley. She'd just gotten her first computer and internet, so we spent the afternoon teaching her how to maneuver her finger around the mouse pad and also how to open and close things such as the internet. We event went as far as to set her up a facebook account! The best part was that we showed her what Skype was and we skyped the Bakers in Indianapolis! Grandma's whole face lit up when she saw her cute grandkids on her computer screen. I realized how much I take technology for granted. We truly are blessed to have not only the world at our finger tips, but the ability to do things such as video calls and see family who are across the country.

After grandma's we went home and made a delicious Easter dinner with Garrett. We'd been wanting to make something special, but all the lamb was so expensive. We started looking at chicken in the grocery store when Eric spotted a thing of pre-seasoned lamb for only seven dollars! We were so excited and felt so lucky, so we went ahead and got it! Then on Easter, after baking the lamb in the oven, I noticed a tag on the bottom side of the package that said $21. My eyes got huge as I reached in and pulled it out of the trash. Turns out, the lamb was $7 a pound and we had indeed paid $21 for our lamb. I got sick to my stomach realizing we had paid way too much for our dinner, but I decided since it was already in the oven to just enjoy our dinner and not let it spoil the rest of the day. Our entire meal included lamb, asparagus, salad, chipotle deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, green beans, and corn.

Do you like my Easter tulips? Eric wanted to get me flowers but buying flowers was out of our price range. So, after church, we stopped by a friend's backyard who let us pick some to my hearts content! Then we came home and Garrett made them into a beautiful bouquet!

After dinner we went on a sunday walk (the snow had all melted by now) until dark. Then we came home and decorated eggs! Eric said he hadn't decorated eggs on Easter since he was a little kid, but that had to change because I still do it every year!

A Quarter of a Century Old

This past April 2nd was Eric's 25th birthday! I got up at 5 am to make him a breakfast and decorate the living room before I left for class at 6. When we got home from classes, he had a wonderful surprise delivered from his parents!

I wanted to do something special for him, so I had planned to send him on a scavenger hunt where I'd taken 25 of his favorite activities and had him draw one out at a time and do it until they were all gone. One of those was to play with a puppy so I took him over to our friend Breil's to see his brand new puppy. It was so cute watching Eric's face light up as the puppy cuddled up to him and licked him all over. We both wish that we could have a puppy...one that never grows up!

Do you like his shirt I bought him? He always goes around singing this song, so I couldn't resist when I came across it!

After our scavenger hunt we sang Johnny Cash all the way to Ihop where we enjoyed a free birthday meal! After dinner we got home just in time for Scott and Amber to come! Scott had gotten Eric a pirate pinata (which they named "Eric the folk dancing pirate") and 25 balloons of his favorite colors! Speaking of which...now, 12 days later, the balloons are all still floating in our hallway and they scare me every time I start to go up stairs!

We had a count of 38 people show up for his birthday party! I'd made 5 pans of brownies (his birthday request) and everyone enjoyed a yummy brownie bar with toppings and lots of milk (courtesy of Jay). It was a little hectic trying to maneuver around our tiny apartment with so many people, but it was so much fun! After everyone left, Eric couldn't stop smiling. He said it was the best birthday he'd had yet. Thank you to all those who came and made him feel so important on his special day!